the end (?)
11:11 pm - March 25, 2004

I've been so involved/withdrawn in my own little sphere/world this week, and I guess the past couple of weeks. I know I haven't reached out to a lot of people like I should, and I'm sorry for that. There's things I've missed, stories I haven't heard, etc., but I can't quite bring myself to care, and I don't mean that in a rude way. There's so much instability in my own life right now...my mom is having her surgery tomorrow morning, my dad is still unemployed, the second chance I thought might be there might not be (with the boy), my little cousin on the cusp of adolescence is most likely bulimic, and the list goes on and on. I can't shoulder very many burderns right now other than the ones I'm dealing with, and I'm sorry for that, I truly am. That doesn't mean you can't talk to me, but it means that I'm not necessarily going to go looking for problems to solve or battles to fight when I'm so involved in fighting/needed to fight my own.

As I'm re-reading what I just wrote, I'm realizing it sounds pretty flippant and like I don't care about anyone but myself. That's not the sentiment I really wanted to convey, but I can't figure out how to adjust it. So I'll just hope people understand.

I'm tired of pretending I don't care who comes across this journal. The fact is, I do care. Anyone could find it if they looked hard enough, and that's starting to freak me out a little. If you want to know what's going on with me, ask. I don't know that I'm going to use this journal anymore. I'm not going to delete it, in case I need it later on. It served it's purpose, but I think it's time to move on.