i'm so tired but i can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep
12:00 am - February 18, 2004

Feels like every time I turn around, there's something new to do/work on/finish/start. I wonder, is this just a routine I'll have to get used to as times goes on? A depressing routine, kind of, but at least it's consistent. Consistency is good when you're not really sure where you stand at the moment. It feels wrong that the only way I still feel grounded is through college and homework-- friendships change so much, sometimes it feels like there's not all that much to fall back on. I'm trying not to let myself fall back into the old habit of being angry and resentful and feeling like I'm shit, but it's hard not to. People change and I need to allow them that change, embrace it, because it's them.

It's hard when you don't seem to be part of that change, though.