blargh/the kindness of strangers
9:48 pm - November 25, 2003

I feel...oh, I don't even know. Maybe this is just a wasted entry, but I thought if I started typing it might all just flow out. No such luck, my mind races but when the thoughts reach my fingertips I hesitate for too long and they're gone. What to do? I hate begging and clinging and seeming desperate. I need some confirmation, something positive and definite. But I'm just left trailing... I'm editing this entry to add something else that happened after I posted it. Imood.com, the site that lets you set your mood, also gives you a profile where you can put your AIM screen name and people can see what mood you're in, and if they want, they can IM you. I got an IM from a girl who had seen that I was feeling "blah", and she IMed me to see if I felt like talking about...and I just let it all go, even the inarticulate things, and in a way it was one of the kindest things someone has done for me in a long time. I said everything I needed to say without worrying about hurting people's feelings or being whiny or anything...and it felt good. A bit of healing, I guess.