the world's on fire, it's more than i can handle
9:40 pm - November 08, 2003

Yes, new layout. It was quite frustrating to get together, but I like the end result.

Well. On Tuesday, at 10 a.m., I'm meeting Bryan with my dad. I don't know quite what to think of that. I mean, I'm excited, but nervous, and still not totally believing it will happen. I'm so afraid of rejection. Because if he rejects me on Tuesday, I will know it's because of my appearance. He's had almost a year to get to know my personality and seems to like it quite a bit. So what else would there be to dislike if he disliked something? Follow my logic? It's pretty dismal.

It feels like I'm underwater right now. Everything fuzzy, quiet, a little blurry. The situation with my dad is taking it's toll on all of us. I'm dragging my heels in the college process. I'm watching my friends fall in love. And it's like I'm watching somebody else's life. Why?