summer move forward and stitch me the fabric of fall
1:18 pm - October 24, 2003

There's a bite to the air here, it's so cold, but I'm loving it. I'm sick of the summer. I prefer pink cheeks from the cold to red faces from the heat. There were some light snow flurries yesterday morning, I didn't see them, but I smiled when I heard. People walking around here in Doylestown, so stylish in their jeans and high heels and turtlenecks, wearing their Juicy Couture sweatsuits that probably cost $200. I love this East Coast small town feel, it's like a scene from a movie. Everything is so quaint. Little shops with cutesy names ("If The Shoe Fits..." for a shoe store), Starbucks built into old brick buildings, churches with cemetaries in their front yards, centuries old. Everything is rich here, not in money, but in emotion. Maybe it wouldn't be if I lived here all the time, but visiting, I feel like I'm just in another world.

I saw my cousins the other night, my baby cousins. Megan is almost 3 with the cutest smile I've ever seen, and Andy, who's almost 1, his eyes look like mine. He has the Stine blue eyes that so many people on my dad's side of the family have. Holding Megan in my arms, her tiny hands playing with my ponytail, I felt this pang of regret for not being here to see them whenever I wanted. The next time I see them, I will probably be 20 or 21, and they will be 6 and 4. I wish I could be there for Missy May and Andy-Man, to see Megan singing a Wiggles song quietly to herself, and see Andy stomping around in his shoes that light up. I'm missing all of it.

People will be getting mail sometime probably next week from me, too bad snail-mail is so slow.