we're the song inside the tune, full of beautiful mistakes...and everywhere we go, the sun will always shine...and tomorrow we might awake on the other side
4:37 pm - August 19, 2003

"Beautiful", Christina Aguilera

I am so happy but not bubbling over as usual when I get this happy. I am quite calm. It's odd.

Last night was so...God, I don't even know how to say it, it meant so much, I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've been so honest. Laying in the dark with so many hugs and hand-grasping. It all feels right again, and to see her so happy during the midnight visit made me happy.

Bryan and I are going on a date on the 29th. I need to tell my parents and I am so scared but there's this rising feeling that it will be okay, that they'll be happy for me.

I know now that it's okay that I'm not the adventurous one, that it's okay I don't want to go to clubs, it's okay I hate climbing things and doing things that I could die from, that it's okay that I'm the one who will listen and walk and worry about everything if that's what I want and that's who I am. Everything got so confusing this summer with everyone changing but me, I had to hibernate and think things over. The important thing is that I am who I want to be right now and that I know that, if that makes sense.