tension and serenity
4:15 pm - August 16, 2003

I very sincerely hope that when I am my mother's age and my mother is my grandmother's age, I will not hate/resent my mother as much as my mother seems to hate/resent her mother. It's so unpleasant for me, and I can't even imagine how my grandmother must feel. My mom is in the pissiest mood I've seen her in for awhile because my grandmother was supposed to spend the night here tonight since she was having her carpets cleaned. Well, my grandmother just called to say that the carpet cleaners can't come today but that she's coming to our house anyway, and my mom is seriously, severely pissed off, and keeps raging about "why the hell is she coming? why does she do this to me?" Honestly, my grandmother is so lonely. It's like it's this huge imposition on my mom when she has to talk to/be around my grandmother. I don't understand it.

On a brighter note, my friends that I've missed so much this summer are home and I can't say how glad I am. I missed their sparkle and laughter and friendship so much. I feel calmer, less crazed, and more sure of things with them home. Love the lovely friends.