have i been replaced? are you happy now?
11:09 pm - June 21, 2003

Ben Lansky is an annoying sick fuckhead and I can't believe I ever fucking liked him! Why didn't somebody slap me in sixth grade?!

My parents and I went to the Harry Potter release party (parties) last night at Powell's. Might I say that I felt the slightest bit stupid at first with my parents there? Because I did. We went to the downtown one first but when we got there and saw the freaking HUGE line, we decided to go back to Hawthorne. Also a long line, but we stuck with it.

Cutest little girl who belonged to the sidewalk tarot reader was wandering through the line. I felt a tiny tug on my purse/backpack and turned around. She said, "What's in here?" So I sat down on the sidewalk with her and showed her everything inside. She fell in love with my umbrella and its automatic open/close button. I almost gave it to her, but didn't. She was adorable. My dad asked her if she was 30-year-old midget, and she laughed so hard and said, "NO! I'm five and a half!" So adorable. I can't wait to be a mom.

I got my report card today, 6 A's and a B. Although I did get an A- in choir due to "absences and tardies". Even though I had 3 absences and 1 tardy in that class the entire YEAR. I think it was a mistake. I also got an A- in Spanish and in HOTA. Still an A though. And the B was in math, big triumph for me there.

Feeling sick of defending my feelings toward DB exclusivity. Of course you don't see it, you're in the circle. And you'll defend anything I say because you don't want to believe it. I get that, trust me. Maybe it's an impasse, maybe we can't get past it. Maybe I'll go on feeling left out and unwanted, and you'll go on feeling unbelieving and at a loss for words. Maybe that's just the way it's supposed to be. Fuck this.