i love myself today.......or not
9:56 pm - May 27, 2003
You left me like a broken doll
In pieces as I took the fall
for you, you dumb chump!
You left me free-falling like space junk
Burning up in the atmosphere of life
Well I sound like a philosopher
but I'm a fool who's off her rocker
'Cause I let you in my heart that one last time
I've had enough, made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever
Well look at you you're all puffed up
In that big red truck- but you're outta luck (this time)
Well, that's tough
'Cause I'm on fire- too hot to touch
with a chatroom full of lovers on the line
Gonna step right up. Spit shine my soul
I'm gonna be proud and loud and outta control!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever
I'm lookin' in the mirror and I like what I see:
I've lost the fear & the horror that's been eating at me
'Cause being with you is like a hangman's noose
I was living my life in dead man's shoes
I've had enough. Made up my mind
I'm gonna get up and out and wahhh!
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
I'm cool, I'm calm
I'm gonna be okay! Uh huh
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
You're dead and gone
I'm gonna get my way
I love myself today
Not like yesterday
Take another look at me now
'Cause it's your last look
Your last look forever!!
I love myself today
I love myself today
I love myself today
I love myself today
I love myself today
I love myself today
I love myself today
-- "I Love Myself Today", Bif Naked
Uh yeah, I wish my emotions echoed the sentiments in that song. Not so much. I went shopping at Old Navy today and divided the time between glaring at myself and my body in the mirror and glaring at the perky, pretty salesclerks who tried to hold conversations with me about school and life. As they were talking to me, I felt inferior, because they were so damn pretty and I was shiny and pink and really not pretty. Yuck. Despite my issues, I managed to find some summer clothes that I like. Can't just wear sweatpants for the rest of the summer, no matter how much that appeals.
I have a bug bite under my eye and my allergies are flaring up again. Why does it always hit my eyes? My favorite features on my face and more often than not they are swollen, pink, or flaking. Doesn't seem fair.
I have two, oops make that three projects I should have worked on tonight. Music, and two history projects. Instead I did only the homework I had to tonight and enjoyed the afternoon the rest of the time. However, the Benadryl I took is starting to take effect and I'm sleepy.
