i've found a way to make you smile
6:04 pm - April 25, 2003

I'm listening to: "At My Most Beautiful" by R.E.M. (lyrics below)

I've found a way to make you

I've found a way

a way to make you smile

I read bad poetry

into your machine.

I save your messages

just to hear your voice.

you always listen carefully

to awkward rhymes.

you always say your name,

like I wouldn't know it's you,

at your most beautiful.

I've found a way to make you

I've found a way

a way to make you smile

at my most beautiful

I count your eyelashes, secretly.

with every one, whisper I love you.

I let you sleep.

I know you're closed eye watching me,

listening.

I thought I saw a smile.

I've found a way to make you

I've found a way

a way to make you smile.

For me, that's one of those songs that you can just never listen to enough. Every time I hear it makes it better. Everything about it is good, from the lyrics to the musical arrangement to the vocals. It just makes me happy.

The word is that my aunt is okay, they did invasive and disgusting tests yesterday and she came home barely conscious, but they didn't find anything. She had an ultrasound today but we haven't heard how that went. I didn't go to school yesterday, instead I went to watch my cousins with my mom. I know it wasn't anything major that I did to help but it was something I felt like I needed to do. It's time like this when I feel so weak and unhelpful, all I can offer are words.

Going to Emili and Brenna's birthday party in a couple of hours, I think it will be fun. I slept until almost 1 in the afternoon today so hopefully I won't fall asleep so early this time. I always do that and wonder what I'm missing, if people are talking about me or about something I should be hearing. Guess I'll never know.

Going to see if I can write to Bryan before I leave, I feel so guilty.