thankful for relaxation, complication, hibernation and irrational seclusion, confusion, all my impurity and insecurity
12:53 am - March 28, 2003

I'm listening to: "Towerblock" by Julia Fordham.

Oh fuck. I hate this computer! Earlier this evening I was goofing around online like earlier. I guess I had too many programs open or something. But I had AIM running and as usual I had noticed Bryan's screen name online. (Background: he has AOL, so I put his screen name on my buddy list. Just so I could be like a creepy stalker and see when he comes online. I've never actually IM'ed him.) Anyway, I was answering an e-mail when an IM screen pops up. And guess who it's from? Yep, Bryan. Only, as soon as it popped up, it was like an overload to my computer, so my computer decided it would do this thing where it blacks out a program--it just makes wherever the program is running go black. And then I have to restart the computer. So. I never got to se what he had to say. And when I came back online, he wasn't on anymore. I don't know how he got my screen name, I guess he must have done one of those searches you can do with AIM, where you plug in an e-mail address and it tells you if that address has registered for a screen name. So anyway. Yes. He probably thinks I'm scared of him now or something. And still no e-mail from him. Argh.

Moving on, I did Loaves and Fishes with my dad again today. I like doing it. But it's so sad. Some of these people...we're the only social contact they have. How sad is that? Some of their apartments smell terrible and are dark and depressing. How does someone's life get to that stage? When does it happen, at what point?

Before I forget-- someone left me a note asking me what my favorite American Idol is. If we're talking about all-time, Kelly Clarkson. I adore her. She's my favorite singer. But this season? Hard to say. Ruben or Clay, for sure. But hard to decide between them.

I've been listening to the "Chicago" soundtrack all day while I do homework. So much fun. The listening part, not the homework, obviously. But now it's 1 in the morning and I'm quite tired. Good night!